fourteen

The grey veil tears back to rain down her perfection.  Grace, peace, face, mind, body, soul: immaculate.  The first step is the hardest.  Unknown ground.  Resistance with every move.  The two were drawn together, likthe north and south pieces of a magnet.  Their hearts played a common song.  She found you and you found her.  A special piece made for the other.  You held her in your hand.  The world you craved was now yours.  You touched her face, kissed her lips, perfection was yours. You ask yourself why you let her fly away.  Why did I set her free?  I watched her stretch ehr wings and did nothing to keep her.  I held her and wsn't satisfied.  Now, you sit humbly numb, begging for another chance to hold completeness one last time.

thirteen

Entranced by your wonderment

You call to me

I see other faces in yours

But wish only to find mine

I stare and get lost in you

Your warmth surrounds me

Soft whispers beg me to listen

I long to make you mine

I crave your touch

When my hand meets yours

It leaves me scarred

When I have you, you burn me

Enamored or ignorant, I know not which

I reach for you again

How long will I play with this fire?

twelve

Looking to the west you search for the sunrise

Even in the dead of night, narrow sight is your demise

The beauty you let fly, in your mind still haunts

Though the grasp never fulfilled your true wants

Weeks without sun, you hold a torn lovers post

Forsaking life, love, all that means to you the most

The first bloom of a flower kissed by dew

The eyes of a poet you forgot you knew

The smell of rain embracing the sky

These are what you missed with your blind eye

Infront of you, their presence never waivered

Your life was passed by, never to be savoured

Through the beautiful forest you went on to find

The western sunrise hidden by trees in your mind.

eleven

Left open for me to read. The cover allures me. I finger your pages to catch a glimpse and the hidden treasures inside. Worn, many hands have traced your face. Lips have craved your words to fall from them. Your story is an old one. I know it well. I know you well. How you rise. Fall. Resurrect. Conquer. Devastate. You are the trickster and the fallen son. A contradiction in your own lines. I read you. Memorize you. Become your words. That is where I find meaning, truth, and enlightenment. It's not in what you say, but what you haven't said. Your ending is written.

ten

Sad eyes are no disguise for a tattered heart.

Ending of a day, you longing to depart

The void in you filled by the ignorance of youth.

Though your blinded from the bitter truth.

The ties that slip around your soul; you want.

Though memories of us will just begin to haunt.

Take your cup and drink deep.

Your actions are yours to keep.

My face will torment you at night.

You will beg endlessly for the next light.

The hollow shell that lies in your bed

is an illusion of love that is long dead.

The words I twist dance in your mind.

Your regret is leaving us behind.

My image is a poision to all of your senses

you damn yourself for your own defenses.

While locked in her callow embrace,

you will find yourself seeking my face.

Damn your mind. Damn your heart.

nine

Placidity on the surface, facade of tranquility. Her deep scars hidden behind a false smile. The bright luster faded from her once blithe eyes. Burst of emotions biding their time to spit out their scornful words. The plaster that keeps her face  copacetic begins to crumble. The quiet innocent voice that once became her is haunted with deep cynical notes. For the moment, the heart stops beating. Ice replaces warmth. Hate replaces love. Bitterness replaces joy. She decays into her own melancholy. This moment is short lived. The instant will soon leave her still pure face. And she will return to the statuesque beauty.

eight

Eyes following my every move

Patience enought to prove

My worth to the one who knows

that love inside me continually grows

Your face is ever changing

The pattern never rearranging

Safety surrounds me when you are there

The newness though leaves me bare

Watching me from a quiet high

Begging to just hear your sigh

Half shadows cast upon your brow

Reminds me to let go now

In you absence, I long to see

The bright face that looks on you and me.

seven

When the shadows claim the night

and there are faint traces of light

I slide into a comforting place

close my eyes and relive your face

Two hearts beating in one song

though one is faint, gone for so long

My ears continue to decieve my mind

Your voice still whispering words so kind

Haunting fingers dance across my cheek

though no body for me to seek

A warm kiss still burns my brow

Though no lips to leave it now.

The smell of you laying next to me

Is it to much to ask to be free

Eyes clenched shut to keep out the pain

Tear stains on my pillow will only remain

My hand traces where you would lay

and pray I make it another day

I bury down into my icy grave

alone the night I must brave

six

Looking forward burns my eyes

The now is where my mind should stay

Tomorrow's thoughts bring a sorrowful note.

Today lights your face in my hand.

The next moment may never arrive.

Satisfaction lies only in my grasp.

Whitsful notions of ever after torment me.

Smiles stop the sand from collecting.

The life I long for pushed to the side.

Your heart beats with mine for this moment.

This is the moment I want to be lost in.

I want to stretch this minute out over a day, past a week and clear to forever.

When it is over, and your scent lingers.

My fingers are left alone.

Yours no longer intertwined with mine.

My lips are bare.

My heart beats solo.

Hopefully looking for your face.

five

I sit crouched staring at the windows.

Breeze blowing, whispering my name.

The sirenes curse calls me to get up.

The door has shut and locked.

No escape, no savior, no salvation.

Me alone, red streaked face, burning eyes.

No wound to the eyes sight.

The pain and scars are buried deep within.

No cries out for help, only a soft repetitious mutter.

'Baptism through fire.'

Thoughts dart through the air haunting my memories.

They flash before me and I cringe.

Breeze blowing, whispering my name.

Am I well?

Will I ever be?

Does anyone care?

I peer out the windows.

So many to choose from.

All fall so far down.

If I leap out will you catch me?

Or will I be burned again?

Will I break something deeper?

Do memories of the inflicted pain fade?

You are not my keeper.

My strength doesn't depend on your desire.

The pain fuels my passion.

The hurt reminds me I am alive.

If I crash and fall, let me lie.

I will get up again, eventually.

four

Do you think of me when the stars are high?

Do you think of me when the breeze rustles by?

Do you think of me when you toes are in the sand?

Do you think of me when she is in the palm of your hand?

Do you think of me when the sun reigns down heavenly heat?

Do you think of me every time your heart beats?

Do you think of me when you are alone in your mind?

Do you think of me when love you crave to find?

Do you think of me?

three

Who are you?

The face staring back at me

Distorted by life

Beaten by experience

I see me in those eyes

Me that smiled in a distant memory

Lips that are faded

The love and life have flown away

Crevice traced along the surface

Time killing beauty

The pain lays blistering atop

The heart stopped beating beneath

The ice constricting the life flow

Laughter far away as the sun

Never to spill from a tarnished orifice

Who are you?

Miss me for my smile

Desire my eyes to dance again

Crave to let my laughter dance on your ears

The faded mirror refracts light

The me I saw is no longer there

Replaced by a void soul

Who am I?

two

Venom deep.

Tear open the skin.

Make it bleed.

The black stains the casing.

A life on display.

Pain on the surface.

Bite the bottom lip.

Push the anguish away.

Never to heal.

The color fades.

Memories stay.

Of the pain.

Of the moment.

Of the experience.

Of the love.

Of the lost.

Dig the shaft in deep.

Consciousness I wish not to keep.

Terrified too much to sleep.

Doomed forever to repeat.

one

Your face flashes to the front of my mind. I study you like an old photograph, brilliant and beautiful. It brings a multitude of emotions with your eyes. Desire, lust, want, need, anger, calmness. Being human, desire takes over. It makes my mind race, heart pulse, and body ache. Every inch screams out to you. I stifle the ugre by moving faster. All the while, my mind drifts back to your body. My hands wander over you. Your face, your neck, the words cut into you. I trace every inch. I push ahead at an even greater speed. No oxygen burns the body. The faster I go, the more I will occupy my mind. It fails. I give in and walk. You still laying in my head. I take in all of you. Your eyes, how they pull me and comfort me. Your cheeks, the soft pink glow I want to put there. Your lips, how the beg me to kiss them.